wyldflowa's dark garden

Most Camby people are on Faye's friends so they'll know we've found a place to move into but that there's quite a gap between when our place closes and this new place opens... A few people have kindly made offers to put a roof over my head - thanks guys, I probably will be taking one of you up on it. :) I can pay rent and food (though not too much with cattery costs and deposit payments and admin fees I'm going to be paying...) and I'll maintain my mess if you give me strict boundaries on it. Well, most of my mess will be in storage it seems. ^^;

More than anything though my heart and stomach are just in the most turmoil at the thought of having to be separated from Bunny for almost a month. I mean, even one night apart leaves me tearful, clammy handed and nauseous. Will she forget me? I'd visit her ewhenever I can... I just don't want to cause her so much stress - I'll put her in a cattery... but then she'd be there for so long, and then straight into another alien environment. She's so happy and at home here... I mean, we haven't been apart for anything more than a week in the past two years. To say I'm attatched to her is a slight understatement I must admit. It's probably quite pathetic how much my emotional wellbeing hinges on her but it's how I am. She's my pet and friend, my responsibilty, I'd do anything to keep her safe and happy.

Just sent some enquiries to the catteries (Windmill and Westlodge) through tears. T____T Does anyone know if either is better than the other? Westlodge looks better, but I think I prefer Windmill because all the cats are on an even keel (no "VIP cats" or anything). I'll have to take her the vets beforehand too to get some jabs. Ahh. Thank goodness for a surprisingly generous payday otherwise this would all be about 10x more stressful.

I'm just tryng to set my mind on the huge room I'll have. And how I'll be able to spread my stuff all over the floor and not feel bad about it. How I'll actually have the floorspace to learn the moonwalk with no one else seeing my phail. And how me and Bunny can frolick in that huge back garden looking for frogs and shrews to kil- uh play with. <3

Sitting alone drawing the same thing all day! Holy shit is this what the freelancer life is like? How are you all not crazy?!

It could well be the subject matter I'm drawing... so many chains... I could draw them in my sleep. -____-;;; And I still got inking to do! YEAH.

*whines and rolls on the floor in her pants*

Aurgh, why am I awake at this hour?

I'm also depressed about Eyesheild 21. Such an awesome manga to end on such a rushed feeling final arc. I mean, it had the potential to be so cool - the Japanese all stars against the world! But then it ends up with each match only being a few chapters long apart from the match against America, and even that felt hastily done. Sad to think it may be due to unpopularity forcing it to finish sooner than it was meant to - or possibly the author and artist getting bored of it (UNLIKELY, who could get bored of Hiruma?). Aaaah, the lack of character development in the last arc hurts too - it had so much potential, so many cool characters were introduced in the final arc but never fleshed out... Aaaah woe.

If the final arc hadn't been such a fanservice and the rest of the comic hadn't been so awesome I'd be a lot more butthurt about it. Goddams! D Greyman had better start updating again!


I want to sleep. Aurhghh. I haven't had a decent rest in a good week now. :(

...until she mixed ganguro make up with a nasty ita dress! Check out the shop assistant's reaction! :O In theory I thought a ganguro lolita would look awesome. But in practise... The kimono looks really cute on her though~ <3


* I still like it, she's coolsauce. I just think this one was a bit of an error...

Gosh~ I forgot how cool it feels to get a picture done! 

That heady buzz as you flatten the layers before saving (because you know your computer isn't fast enough to save without doing so)... checking it out in Windows picture viewer (because somehow it always looks different in something other than Photoshit)... grinning as you upload it somewhere (and the associated ego-stroking that goes with it). Ah, art is like crack.  <3

IN OTHER NEWS. AN UPDATE HAS OCCURRED.



I think my artblock is over~

Your results:
You are Chekov

Chekov 90% Beverly Crusher 85% Will Riker 85% An Expendable Character (Redshirt) 75% James T. Kirk (Captain) 70% Leonard McCoy (Bones) 65% Deanna Troi 65% Mr. Scott 55% Mr. Sulu 55% Jean-Luc Picard 45% Worf 45% Uhura 40% Spock 39% Geordi LaForge 30% Data 18%

Brash, rash and hasty, but everyone loves you.

Click here to take the Star Trek Personality Quiz


I also now have my hair cut! Not too short but loads of chunky layers and much swishyness and a fringe! This fringe which, after riding my bike home, quiffed up hilariously~ XD Happyo!

Just dawned on me thanks to Facebook how close Expo actually is! Holy hell, I need to style these wigs and get my shirt done! O____O

In a slight rage at what I'm paying for here, I'm looking at properties now and the prices are stupid and are just making me more angry and less like I want to stay here. I'm feeling like that despite a really lovely weekend in Great Yarmouth and meeting some very friendly and enthusiastic staff as well as gaining details to some really interesting courses at the Anglia Ruskin open day. I'm paying more to stay here than I could have paid in Birkenhead for a huge three storey masonette... this money scrounging northern monkey is spitting nails at this place right now.

Anyone want to be our housemate? Rent divided by four is far less than rent divided by three... >_<



Edit - I shouldn't even look, three bedroom house £525 in Birkenhead! Gorgeous studio flat £300! 2 bed flat with garden of epic proportions down the road from dad's £460! (okay, that one's a bit pricey)... but still! X(

I just recently got Spotify on my computer and it's unleased much frantic searching of old favourites. I'm peeved the Beatles can't be played on there... but deliriously happy that No Doubt's whole discography is on there~ XD Tragic Kingdom is one of those albums I can't listen to just one song of - I have to sweat the whole thing out til the end. Harks back to when it was the only casette I had on that old tape/record player my uncle gave me*, you know, back in the days when music media couldn't skip over tracks... XD I used to lie on my stomach on my bed, drawing the strange drawings I used to draw back then, pausing only to turn the tape over. The only other thing I have to listen through is the Rocky Horror cast recording I have - it's essentially the whole show, non-singing parts and all~ I love listening to it all in full, I know the whole script!


Anyone else got certain albums they just *have* to listen to in full? :D




* Prize for the highest number of nostalgic things in one sentence goes to...





And fuck year! Going the beach tomorrow! BEEEEACH. I want to bring home as much sand as possible. \^o^/

My brother is in hospital. On life support. Found drunk and high crying in his bedroom after mum's boyfriend broke his nose. Covered in burns and cut marks. Sold drugs by an apparent friend. Coughing up blood from his nose bleeding...

She was more concerned about trying to ring this Steve character and denying that he could have done that to Adam.

I'm so tempted to get the 7am coach up... but at the same time I'm shaking, my stomach hurts, I know if I saw her face I'd punch it. I need to calm down before doing anything. If my brother dies in the time between now and me seeing him...

I've never felt such hate and anger...


...Talking to Fern has just calmed me down a lot. I'm so lucky... I was going to go to Hull and see her this weekend but I'm going to go straight from Doncaster to Liverpool. She said she'd come with me, again, I'm so lucky... Hopefully by then I'll have calmed down and with Fern there I shouldn't fly off the handle. I was going to go to work today (it's usually my day off but I need to work up the hours I've lost by being ill). Might do a couple of hours but I'm not going in right now...

Aurgh, I'm torn up. All I want is my brother to be okay.

( I like Bleach... but the truth of this image is something I can't deny... )
Also today I laughed at some awful Watchmen cosplay. I know it's mean but when someone does a Rorschach using faux cow skin fabric sack for the mask... and is then dubbed "Mooschach"... it takes a will of steel not to let out a snort of mirth at least. ^^;

Stolen off tigerangel_hel~ I always manage to get INFP on these ones - always! XD

You Are An INFP

The Idealist You are a creative person with a great imagination. You enjoy living in your own inner world. Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships. It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close to you. But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop. In love, you tend to have high (and often unrealistic) standards. You are very sensitive. You tend to have intense feelings. At work, you need to do something that expresses your personal values. You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist. How you see yourself: Unselfish, empathetic, and spiritual When other people don't get you, they see you as: Unrealistic, naive, and weak

Well, it finally happened, Bunny's tail got the chop. She now has a fantastic hairless stump on her rear end that wiggles and twitches with whatever she does~ XD

Aw bless... it is a bit odd seeing her without it but I'm just happy she's alright. Went to pick her up from the vets and they said she's been really quiet and still seemed sleepy... but as soon as she saw me mew mew mew! <3 Then I bought her home and immediately she was up to her old tricks, scratching at doors and furniture~ Kept me up a good portion of the night too...

So yeys! Bunlets is a-okay!

I kinda wish they'd given me the tail in a really really morbid way... I feel like I'm a bit strange for wishing something like that. XD


Other things are a bit better in life too. Patched up and learnt from personal drama, mouth ulcer from hell is but a twinge in the mouth now, not feeling as tired... It's good. Now my last problem, deadlines. Aurgh.

So I took her to the vets to have her tail xrayed - turned out she doesn't have a break, just a lot of swelling and some lesions. The vet gave me painkillers and antibiotics for her to take over the next week... Which is slightly aurgh because I'm off adventuring this week. I'm going to have to give dear Nana a crash course in adminstering pills/drops at some point. Gaah. Things are always so stupidly timed for me~ Goddam I wan tto be here for my cat but everything's booked rawr rawr...

So thankfully, because of that, she's not going to be chopped up for now. If the tail doesn't get better then she may have to have it amputated... but for now she just has to take her meds and stay away from things that could catch her tail. Because there's no operation, yet, the cost was not as horrible as I was preparing myself for. The vet said to me that if he did have to do an operation he'd let me pay in installments and that he knew a few charities that could help me out somewhat if things were really bad so that made me feel a whole ton better. :D

I also took out pet insurance; it depresses me how easy it was to set up and how cheap it is. I really am a retard for not doing it way way waaay back when I got her~ I also finally got a young person's rail card. XD Considering how much travelling around I do, it's another one of those "I'm such a twat for not doing this earlier" things. Baaah. At least I did productive shit today!

This one got a good laugh out of me - I can actually see myself using this in something in the future~ XD

What Is Your Battle Cry?

Who is that, rampaging over the hotel lobby! It is Wyldflowa, hands clutching a bladed baseball bat! She bellows thunderously: "I'm going to brutalize you so badly, your blood will flow counter-clockwise!!!"

Find out! Enter username: Are you a girl, or a guy ?

created by beatings : powered by monkeys

Dear lovely beautiful animal stupid retarded fluffball idiot whom I love,


Please please PLEASE be careful. Your mummy is of a fragile dispostion. When she sees you've got a big bleeding boo boo on your leg her face leaks uncontrollably and she can't do much else. So please, don't do that again!

You'd better say your thanks to Faye and Nana by not scratchng their beds because otherwise you would've just been cried all over and not treated cos your mummy is a nervous flake. They are very lovely housemates and surrogate mummys to you and you should be grateful. I know your mummy is very grateful for them being such awesome people while she was crying into the carpet.


I'll see you later you stupid little shit rag. I love you.


~ Chloe

I'm having a far better day off than my last one so far~ And productive too. I'm just having an eat break as whilst inking I noticed my lines getting that familiar hunger-induced wobble. Egg fired rice and tea for brekkie~! Hurrah for being able to pick up marked down food at Asda~ X3

But yes, drawing is quite nice isn't it? I spolt myself and bought some really nice paper to ink on from Tesco - the difference between this stuff and the stuff I was previously using is immense. So smooth and unbleedy... *stroke* Also, with the colour on my printer working again I'm printing out my sketches coloured so it does away with me needing to use a lightbox to trace everything which makes things quicker but also... I can ink in bed! 8D Now I just need a microwave and a kettle up here and I'll never have to leave my room again! <3 Hell, I don't even have to leave my bed~!

I also got myself a ring binder thing to put finished inked pages in - I'm kinda constantly being reprimanded by artsy housemates and the nitpicking partner for not having much respect for my art... XD but for me once it's scanned, the hardcopies are pretty useless so I tend to just throw them around... Leave them in piles, let them get torn, dog eared, etc. I couldn't even tell you where all the pages for Death's Apprentice are, let alone Rainbow Carousel! I have a few stored in a cereal box which has gotten a lot of disapproval from everyone who sees it... ahaha. I'm turning a new leaf to take more care of my art - I ned to have more pride in it. I know I'm not *amazing* but I'm not as shit as I think I am sometimes - looking after finished pics is one way of me realising their value. I think, psycologically, it'll help me be more confident with it.

Yep~ I'm very perkychipper today. I should get back to inking!

I'm feeling all weird and useless right now... Doing the same cycle of the same websites, worrying about the same stuff over and over, listening to the same songs... no wonder I get depressed when I'm not at work.

I wish I could at least find the motivation to draw or something rather than crappy useless repetitive internetting...

And I'm so so so tired. I sleep seven hours without fail and still struggle with yawns and lethargy through the day. By the time I get in I'm so wiped I can't be bothered do anything else - eventhough the whole point of me doing morning shifts was so that I could have free afternoons to work on art, go out etc. Aurgh.

Sometimes I do have a little wonder and think to myself, I've moved across the country, but how far have I really moved?

Yargh. I'm probably tired...